The light at the end of the tunnel

Sometimes I feel down. These times I usually stop to think of my life; about my past and my future and truly I should tell you that I’m afraid.

Afraid of the dark and the light. I’m afraid of every little thing and I’m also afraid of everybody, everywhere. Fortunately, I have people who I can count on. But it also scares me, due to a single reason that is always happening to me: I often become alone - in several spots of this word.

I’m afraid of the time, ‘cause I have enough knowledge to understand that nothing is forever. On the other hand, I have been spending my time without enjoying the moment. I mean, it’s hard to me to show my feelings and to talk about my thoughts. Moreover, I deny myself to try something new or change my own rules.

Then, I keep walking on a grey road with plenty of surprises, smiles and crying; it depends on the reader – I know – to use these personal reflections for something interesting and better than I’ve been using them. The biggest mistake once said was “the smartest person is the one who follows their own advices”, ‘cause no one does that.

People are weak, even though they try to hide it.

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Thanks for the beautiful words, Cassia.
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IThauan dos SantosI

Pequena, porém intensa

Sabia de seu destino. Sempre soube. Infelizmente.

Nem as estações do ano, nem o seu evoluir eram capazes de enganá-lo. Por vezes, acreditava que, talvez, pudesse haver algo, ou alguém, apto a fazê-lo. Não havia. Não haveria.

Do conhecimento de tal proeza, não sabia, tampouco compreendia, a razão pela qual existia. De nada parecia agregar seus longos e arrastados momentos de vida. Cada segundo era capaz de ocultar horas, dias, meses... anos. Anos marcados por interfaces de passageiros flashes de felicidade e prosperidade e duradouras memórias de tristeza e solidão.

Estes eram [e são] seus companheiros fiéis. Por mais que parecessem ceder ao cansaço daquela longa e fatigante empreitada nos períodos de flashes, regressavam fortes. As consequências eram terríveis.

Já não havia quase mais esperanças. Logo, quais seriam suas outras fontes de motivação? Felizmente, ele ainda vive. Permanece vivendo e convivendo com a enorme dor de viver. Aquela dor, que apenas ele sabia sentir e mensurar, era amenizada pela pequena, porém intensa esperança que ainda o restava. Pequena, porém intensa.

ILuan dos SantosI

Bye the way ... I love you

Wherever you go, I'll be there by your side, smiling at you all the time. Always when I see you, I know I'm so happy 'cause I love you as I could never imagine before, like I have never seen in my life.

I have no doubts about what I want: I know you are the person I hope I love forever, even being so different and disagreeing with many things and situations.

Now, you cannot be here with me. I'm alone. You are in another place, where I will never know; just when the same thing happens to me.

For a long time I've supposed I remembered you and then I kept living.

Each day was like when you were alive. I'm sorry, but it was a trouble. Nowadays I'm lost. I don't have strength to live anymore. I want to run away from my life and stop making mistakes, 'cause it's been so long since I last saw your face

But I have decided, I'll be the same until the end of our love story; until I die too.

At last, I just want to see you as you always were and love you forever, my love. It's just that I - really - need to be happy.

Love you forever and ever.
Bye.

IThauan dos SantosI

Ditado popular

querer é poder. é o que muitos dizem sem ao menos refletir sobre.
sobre essa ótica, querer deveria ser poder.
poder ir além do cercado.
cercado aquele que nos limita com compromissos e escassez.
escassez de tempo, de apoio e de força. de força para viver.

IThauan dos SantosI